Twas the day of the night before Christmas, And all up our street,

All the children built snowmen and acted all sweet,

The adults used blackmail saying, ‘you should be good!’

And with shy glances down, they replied, ‘they would!’

 

The children all hoped and wished their present might be,

The latest new console or a shiny TV.

Perhaps it might be a new board game to play,

Or it may be a book to enchant them away.

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter,

I threw open the window and said with a shout,

‘Put that stick down now or you’re getting nowt!’

 

The sun in the sky was as high as could be,

And the snowmen they’d made were getting rather drippy,

They all ran inside to see what they could eat,

But the fridge was all full, of uncooked Christmas meat.

 

It was bursting with food but none we could munch on,

Mum stood guard, a rolling pin for a truncheon,

So I got on the phone, and ordered some grub.

Pizza for all, then I could get down to the pub.

 

The pizza arrived, so rapid and quick.

I hoped it was cooked I didn’t want to be sick,

When what could my wondering eyes now see,

‘Oh Bobby Dazzler! Extra pepperoni.’

 

It was Christmas I thought, so I gave the driver a tip,

‘Watch how you’re going mate, mind you don’t slip.’

I laughed and I laughed while watching the telly,

And the kids laughed at me and my belly like jelly.

 

I spoke not a word and went off in a mood,

But they came quickly to hug me, and my grumbles subdued.

I went for a quick pint, before we got them to bed,

And do you know what? Not one peep was said.

 

Another Christmas Eve over and I just don’t know how,

We can afford, but we do it somehow,

 

And now,

 

Twas the night before Christmas…..