I wish for brother to be not
such an unfamiliar word to me
lighting candles and minds with
stories, climbing mountains made
out of the storeys of the house
we almost grew up in together –
backpacks on, climbing shoes, ropes
made out of bedsheets, tiny
mountaineers opining on everything,
opening gifts at Christmas, now pining
for rewinding – if we could, I wish
we could do it together
Dad says “Fluids!”, when we complain we are hot.
“You’re dehydrated,” he says, even if we think we’re not.
“You need fluids!” Dad says, when we’re playing in the garden.
“Fluids!” he says, when we pound the streets of London.
“Fluids!” he says in Paris as we watch Mickey’s parade.
“Fluids!” he says, as we retreat into the shade.
“Fluids!” Dad says, in Portsmouth and in Yarmouth.
“Fluids!” Dad says, and every time we laugh.
“Fluids!” Dad says, as we walk on Jersey’s shores
“Fluids!” he says, in every place that we explore.
“Fluids!” he says, putting a drink in front of us.
“Looking forward to some fluids”, as we ride the airport bus.
“Fluids! Get it down yer”, when we’re in town, shopping.
“Fluids!” in Orlando, when we’re Disney park-hopping.
“Fluids!” is his mantra up in the Scottish Highlands.
“Fluids!” as we float towards Gothenburg’s islands.
“Fluids!” he says in Miami, Wales and Spain
And on the beach in the Bahamas he repeats himself again.
“Fluids!” Dad says, in Nottingham and Birmingham.
“Fluids!” Dad says, by the canals of Amsterdam.
“Fluids!” Dad says, as we push through Times Square.
“Fluids!” he barks and wags his finger in the air.
“Fluids!” he will say when we hunt for the Northern Lights,
“Fluids!” he will say when we sample Stockholm’s delights.
“Fluids!” He grins and stretches out the word.
“Fluids!” we all chant, as we explore the world.
I have been sheltering people subconsciously and still
when I send them the miniscule
they do not respond
why do they not respond?
it has been too hard to give them anything so far
and now I have given something they do not take it
take my ovaries
take my diseased womb
take everything that has to come with it
take my tears
take my worst fears
take everything I am showing you because it is nothing
compared to the rest of the things I have
I have so much stock i